A Broken Heart…the story that slips through our fingers

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Painting: Psyche Discovers That Her Secret Lover is Cupid, Maurice Denis, 1908

Moonlight falls through the window

Spread across your bed

To kiss your shoulder

As you forget

I taste the salt of your skin

You do not stir

Wake up and I will speak

Lover’s words whispered in your ear

But you sleep

Hold yourself above me

The muscles of your shoulder

Tense with your effort to be gentle

Do not be gentle

I kiss you

But you sleep

I memorize the curve of your shoulder

Hold on to the memory

To sculpt it later in my mind

The child’s softness

The man’s resistance

As you sleep

If I were a sculptor

It would be my life’s work

The curve of your shoulder

A gift to the world

A monument

For my kiss

As you sleep

You are a muse

Like a muse, you ask for everything

My everything is too small

One drop of water in a wild ocean

You are Paradise

I am Eve

Quenching my thirst at your tree

You do not make me stop

But you will turn me from Paradise

One seed in the wild earth

Eve is a Goddess

Like a Goddess, she asked for everything

And was expelled from the hearth

She has called me far away

Lured me from the comfort of a home

For a taste of temptation

Salt on the skin of a man

You woke the Goddess

But you sleep

I read there is an angel

Over every blade of grass

Grow, she whispers to the blade. Grow

Grow, I whisper

But you sleep

I have taken a seed from the Knowledge Tree

Hidden beneath my tongue

I plant it with sweat and tears

One seed in the wild world

If I pulled down the wall

The one you’ve built around your heart

What would I find?

You might crumble with the bricks

Fall to your knees at my feet

 I might find there is nothing for me

I do not belong in Paradise

You sigh and I am gone

One seed on a breath of wind

I am on my knees looking up

Your head is thrown back in ecstasy

I own your pleasure

You cannot take it with you

The seed of knowledge

 Temptation

The taste of your skin

As you sleep

If you had felt my kiss

Turned to me

Seen me crumble

Like the bricks

And loved me anyway…

But you sleep

Open your eyes

Find me in the wild ocean

Find me buried in the earth

Find me waiting beneath your Knowledge Tree

Unravel me and spread me across the sky

Like a string of stars

Spread me across your bed

Like the moonlight

But you sleep

I have my monument

You cannot take it with you

Sleep, I whisper. Sleep

And forget your Eve

Censorship…The stories we hide

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(Photo above courtesy of flickr user florian.b)

Following is my interview with my friend and local librarian Molly Senechal about the issue of banning or removing certain books from a community. I had intended to weave my conversation with her into a much larger piece, but her words are too well said. No need for any further decoration.

I grew up in Bakersfield, CA, the epicenter for the controversy over The Grapes of Wrath. Even forty years after the book was published, there were still strong feelings over the decision to remove the book from the Kern County Library. As a writer, I know how hard it is to be criticized, to feel I’ve made the offering of a great and perfect gift no one else can see. I have some sympathy for the people in the Bakersfield community who felt John Steinbeck overlooked the good California did for migrant workers. What fires me up, and what interests me from the perspective of a storyteller, is the choice to hide rather than discuss the shortcomings of a story. These are the moments I find so compelling in life! And now…Molly Senechal:

What is your definition of censorship? How have your personal experiences shaped that definition?

I believe censorship is the act of impeding or blocking access to words, stories, music, art, and/or ideas. As far as personal experiences involving censorship go, I have only one: In the early 1980s, the rock band KISS was playing in my hometown. My older brother had tickets to the concert, and our mother forbade him to go. She had heard stories about the band worshipping phallic symbols and other such things. Whether the stories were true, I can’t say. My brother was furious, of course.

Do you think controversy surrounding a book creates more interest, curiosity, or readership?

Controversy surrounding books definitely creates interest. The hubbub over the 50 Shades trilogy by E.L. James is a great example. (See? I’m creating even more interest just by mentioning it here! But that’s because it is a great example of controversy and curiosity.) There are some public libraries that aren’t carrying the series because of its theme and content. People want to know what the big deal is. What’s drawing folks to the book? What’s repelling them? Will they feel the same about the series as their friend (or sister or neighbor or whoever)?

Controversy over a book can be a very beneficial thing. Think about it: You read a book you love, hate or don’t fully understand and you want to “review” it for anyone who will listen — and hear their review(s), too. Heated discussions can even encourage people to read books they might not otherwise touch. I didn’t care for Twilight, but struggling through it inspired me to pick up the granddaddy of all vampire novels: Dracula (which, by the way, I loved).

 

In a perfect world, how would controversy over a book be handled?

In a perfect world, there would be no controversy over books! Discussion, yes. Debate, yes. Pulling a book from a shelf, no. But since we don’t live in a perfect world, controversy over any art (literary, musical, visual) would best be handled by we, as humans, becoming comfortable with any topic. I really think people censor, or shy away from discussion, because they’re afraid. They’re afraid because they don’t have all the answers, or because they might have to question their beliefs or value systems. Digging deeply into your own mind can be a scary business.

Other thoughts (related to censorship, though perhaps loosely):

Our thoughts are the only things we can control. They are wholly, completely ours. They cannot be restrained, arrested, or withheld. If it’s true that humans are the only animals capable of “higher thought”, why would we limit ourselves by censoring? Why would we limit others’ ideas and ideals? If fear is our motivation (see above), then we need to be braver!

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“Ideas don’t die because a book is forbidden reading.” -Kern County librarian Gretchen Knief on the burning of The Grapes of Wrath

The Ancient Art of Growing Up

I used to think the story of Pandora’s Box (see my last blog) was at best a cautionary tale, and at worst another misogynistic version of the dangers of the feminine mind. Like most of our myths, I now believe Pandora resides in all of us. Woman or man. Accountant or artist. Pandora is the true gift of the story, not her box. In fact, the name Pandora means “giver of all gifts.”

Our box is our destiny, and the admonishment not to open it is our call to adventure.

Motivational author Dennis Rodriguez would describe it as the moment when everything changes. In his book, The Super Human Effect, he likens it to the scene in Superman where Clark Kent acknowledges that his gifts were not meant for the cornfield.

In the upcoming weeks, I will create a series that explores the struggle and hope that form the person or community we become. The stories we live by.

In the meantime, check out The Super Human Effect by Dennis Rodriguez.

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